Those Evenings of the Brain

p1060820Its been a long time since the darkness of uncertainty descended. It is one year since our Nepali visas ran out. This poem captures something of the ongoing experience for me (Andy).



We grow accustomed to the Dark –
When light is put away –
As when the Neighbor holds the Lamp
To witness her Goodbye –

A Moment – We uncertain step
For newness of the night –
Then – fit our Vision to the Dark –
And meet the Road – erect –

And so of larger – Darknesses –
Those Evenings of the Brain –
When not a Moon disclose a sign –
Or Star – come out – within –

The Bravest – grope a little –
And sometimes hit a Tree
Directly in the Forehead –
But as they learn to see –

Either the Darkness alters –
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight –
And Life steps almost straight.

The growing accustomed: living with uncertainty has become something of a way of life but at times I just want to know what is going to happen so I can make plans one way or the other. But we have –
Fit our vision to the dark: and there have been many wonderful things about the last few months. The sea, Britain’s green and pleasant land, colours of Autumn, crisp mornings, rediscovering tennis, family, friends. But also there have been –
Those evenings of the Brain: most of the time I think I’ve coped better than I would have imagined but their have been one or two periods where I have indeed –
Hit a tree directly in the forehead: like the day I heard that I would be unlikely to continue helping at the bible college. It left me reeling, dizzy, for 2 weeks. But –
Either the Darkness alters or something in the sight adjusts itself to midnight and life steps almost straight. We will return to Nepal on a tourist visa for 4 months in January. Jenny will continue with her masters and I will explore future possibilities. The uncertainty is still there but it will be a little bit more like ‘normal’.
My apologies for not having sent news for so long. Will try to resume normal service.Thank you for your patience.
Thoughts and prayers are with those who through illness, depression, job insecurity etc are grappling with much greater darkness than this;
May some Star light your way this Christmas.

Moving swiftly on to Plan B…. — nepaljennyji

Jenny posted the following update on our adventures and it is much more upbeat and amusing than mine would have been (because she is more upbeat and amusing than me and also I had started to look forward to Kolkata more than her):

We’d had both sets of parents to stay, said goodbye, checked on vaccinations, bought strong insect repellant, carbon monoxide alarms and water filter bottles. We’d just got back from an afternoon with Katie finding cool cotton clothes in charity shops. There was an email from Nepal. It said that the Social Welfare Council were not […]

via Moving swiftly on to Plan B…. — nepaljennyji

The long and the short of it have a plan! Its still full of uncertainties but it is a plan that we feel happy with and includes short and long term elements.

So we will fly to Kolkata (I’ve learned this is the way you spell Calcutta!) on September 8th and stay in the BMS Guest House. Everyone who has visited this center tells us it is an oasis in the middle of the general chaos and madness of city life. While we are there Jenny will start studying for a Masters and Andy will generally make himself useful and have some cultural experiences, (have you seen the programme ‘An Idiot Abroad’?).

Then there are two possible directions forward. If we hear that Jenny’s visa application is likely to be approved then we will wait in Kolkata until it is ready for collection (probably 6-8 weeks) and then fly direct to Kathmandu and return to normal life. If the application is unsuccessful then we will return to the UK and be based at IMC in Birmingham and hope to return to Nepal after Christmas.

Under the first option above Jenny will do her distance learning course in 2 years, under the second she will try and complete it in 1 year. Hopefully having a Masters will then mean we won’t face similar problems in the future. In the past it has been recognised that for some kinds of work, like Counselling, a Masters is not the best means of establishing expertise but that experience is a better guide. It seems though that the paper qualification is becoming all important.

Having been nomads all summer it is hard to continue this lifestyle for another indeterminate period however its good to see a way forward and we’re sure Kolkata will be fascinating. Andy is likely to end up doing some preaching, visiting local churches and pastors and visiting local projects (we know of one working to set free women who have been traffiked and one planting house churches in rural areas).

Jenny has just applied for the Masters course so we hope very much she will be accepted! It has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster over the last couple of weeks but BMS have been great and we are relieved to be able to move forward positively. Thanks for your support through it all!



Birmingham flat

Still no concrete developments re returning to Nepal. The visa process has hit a significant hurdle so there is a major re-evaluation of what to do next. We are still in the UK and are based in Birmingham for a period but may be sent to Calcutta for a while! The uncertainty is hard but for this blog I didn’t want to focus on that but the generosity people have shown us during our time in the UK.


IMC Birmingham

Over the last 3 months families, friends and even strangers have given us wonderful meals, open hospitality, interest and encouragement. They have lent us cars, holiday cottages, cd’s, videos, books. We have shared their wine, cheese, chocolate, lamb, fish and beer, (all things not available in Nepal in the quality and variety we have here). As nomadic wanderers we have been well cared for and looked after.

Renewal, Yorkshire

Renewal, Yorkshire

We are trying to see this delay through the eyes of a generous God. Not being able to return at the expected time makes us realise what a precious gift the 3 years we have had in Nepal has been. At the end of our official home assignment we were quite drained and the last month has been a gift of time for restoration and renewal. We have had more time to catch up with family than expected. We have time for the kind of quality preparation of materials we rarely have in Nepal.

It is a frustrating and worrying time but it has also been a good time. Even learning again that not all of life is in our control is a helpful lesson. Still, we hope for news of a way forward before too long.

Hold up in Dittisham

P1060462 I thought Nepali friends would find this amusing. A farmer charging people £18 (Rs 2700) to come and try milking a cow! Most villagers in Nepal have a buffalo or goat and milking is always by hand. I’m sure they would be very happy to let someone milk their buffalo for £18.

There are many such contrasts between Nepal and England and we have never been more aware of that than today. We were meant to fly to Kathmandu last night and this morning we would have arrived to the chaos of the capital’s traffic in monsoon season. Instead we were in the rolling hills of south Devon visiting a stately home and watching a steam train pass by.

P1060460The 5 year agreement INF have to make with the government of Nepal about the work they will undertake and the amount of visa posts they will have is still in process. Therefore we, along with most other ex-pats, can’t yet return to the country. No one knows how long this will take and there is a faint chance that we may not be able to return.

P1060467We are concerned about how long this will continue and how it will effect Jenny’s work, Andy’s voluntary teaching (term is about to start) and INF’s ongoing work. We have no choice about the situation and will try and make the most of the situation however long it lasts. For the moment its lovely to have a little time to ourselves and this weekend we are staying at the most wonderful cottage we have ever had a holiday in.

After this our plans for the next 3 months are:

  • A couple of weeks working on personal projects re what we do in Nepal and on producing some home group material for mission workers.
  • 5 days retreat time. Jenny at a retreat centre and Andy walking.
  • From August 19th we will be based at the BMS International Mission Centre in Birmingham where we will help out with training activities as needs arise.
  • Or BMS may send us on a short term project abroad. No details yet, it’s just been floated as a possibility.
  • If there is no progress with visas by October 31st then we will start exploring with BMS the possibility of moving to another country instead of Nepal. This is not what any of us would choose but we have to be realistic about the possibility this could happen.

England’s Green and Troubled Land

015rosemoor2june16_1892One of the things we love about the UK is the greenness. One of the (few) joys of a climate where it can (and usually does) rain all year is that it is a green and pleasant land. In particular English grass is different to anything you seem to find in Nepal. Lawns are a luxury and an art. Few people in Nepal have the luxury of land on which to grow a lawn or the knowledge of how to keep one. P1060255England is one of the few places to still play lawn tennis and we are currently enjoying Wimbledon (though this photo is from Nottingham).

The tennis is a welcome distraction. Our country is going through the greatest turmoil I can remember. The decision to leave Europe has been followed by a policy vacuum, shambolic preperations for leadership elections in both main partie P1060261s and an embarassing football defeat. It seems no one in power believed that Brexit would happen and now it has there is no one in power. Everyone is talking about it, most people are anxious, everyone is confused.

Our situation is also confused. We were due to return to Nepal on July 21. However the 5-year agreement between INF (the NGO Jenny works for) and the government is still in process. After it is finally agreed there will be a 4-5 week delay before we can go back. We’re not sure what we will do with this extra time or where we will be based but I’m sure it will include plenty of discussion about our green and troubled land.


P1060187We forget just how wonderfully restorative the English (and Welsh!) late spring weather is. Coming from the dry, hot, pre-monsoon season in a very dusty Kathmandu we are loving the greenness, freshness, long days, wild places, parks and gardens here. We have also struck it lucky with the weather and the sun has followed us around the country as we have visited family, friends and churches in Lincoln, Wales and Devon.

P1060153It is very relaxing to be in a place where everyone speaks English, things are so orderly, and we understand how most things work. After a couple of months we will probably be looking forward to the chaos and adventure of Nepal again but for a few weeks its lovely to be able to relax into a familiar culture.There is plenty of majestic scenery in Nepal but its not easy to find the relaxing, pretty, unspoiled, sit and soak it in countryside that surrounds us here. And of course there is the sea…….

We started our church visits last week by returning to Hope in Plymouth and our tour of supporting churches begins this Sunday. Our timetable is below and it would be lovely to see you:

Sun 12 June        Crediton URC

Sun 19 June        Fleckney BC

Tues 21 June      Waddington PC

Sun 26 June        Devonport BC

Sun 3 July            Brecon BC

Sun 17 July          Hope BC

Other news: INF’s visa agreement with the government has been on hold for a month and unless it moves on quickly we will be delayed in the UK for a while. This would be particularly difficult for the College where Andy volunteers as he would miss valuable teaching time.